Don't Take Life Too Seriously
by I Know You Know I Know
Summary: Zoey thinks she deserves a normal life. A person from her past thinks otherwise. Oh, and Harley is jealous. Reviews are more than welcome.
1. Prolog: A Night In The Narrows

**Author's Note**

Hey, this is my first fic so be nice! My fragile mind can't take this as it is.. *cries*

I don't own the Batman universe. But if I did there would be a lot less Batsy and a lot more Joker!

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**Prolog**

_Somewhere in the Narrows.._

"I'm leaving"

"_Excuse_ me?"

The rain was pouring down, drowning all the noises of the city night. No one worth mentioning was near the old warehouse, so if you ever wanted to hear about the following conversation you would have to go to someone who isn't worth mentioning. That someone is Johnny. He was moving slowly along the gray buildings, trying to find his way home, cursing the spinning outlook he had on the world and his silly feet who wouldn't move the way they should, when he heard a low female voice behind the greasy glass he had just walked past, followed by an odd males.

"You heard me" the woman answered

"Yeah? I just see a big slip in your plan" the other voice commented. The male one. His tone was oddly twisted like a clowns voice and rather mocking.

"Oh, really?" she questioned sarcastically.

"I won't let you."

The woman let out a snarl of frustration "this has gotten too dangerous! I won't go down in flames like you, you know? I actually planned on getting on with my life after this" Though Johnny was more than a tad wasted he could almost feel on his skin how angry the woman was. And she had sounded so lovely just before. Now he would rather be caught ears dropping by the man in the room, rather than by her.

"You can still do that. When we're finished" The guy answered seriously

"This hasn't even started yet!" Her anger once again burned his skin, like fuming flames.

"Exactly. Why leave before the, uh, fun has even begun?" Johnny couldn't believe how calm the man sounded. There was no fear in his voice. He should know better than to talk to an angry woman like that, Johnny thought slurredly. He had to be crazy.

"You haven't noticed the _small_ events in the Narrows? Right outside these doors! Don't you watch the news? Don't you hear the rumors?"

"Nope. It must have slipped past me" he joked. The woman seemed to have calmed down because she answered softly "I'm not doing this. The risk is too big now"

"Seriously?"

"When it was just the police I didn't have a problem. And the mob doesn't scare me, but..."

"Oh! Don't tell me that you're afraid of bats!" he cut her off, laughing.

Johnny was now so caught up in the argument that he sat down, leaning his back against the brick wall, too drunk to care about getting wet.

"Oh, shut up!" she hissed.

"Then what is it?"

"He just seems… different. Too strong"

"Well, I must admit; he knows how to make life, uh, hard for the mob, but that just plays into our hands" The man was clearly excited; Johnny would almost call it amused.

"What do you mean?" Both the woman and Johnny were fairly confused.

"What does the mob do to the ones who stand in their way, beautiful?"

"They put a bullet in their brains"

She said it so plainly and relaxed, that Johnny didn't comprehended what it was she had said at first. She sounded so young. So innocent, even after the outburst of anger before. Too decent to be talking about killing people.

"Exactly" He sounded happy with her answer.

"But that's the point! They just can't kill this guy!"

"But_ we_ can!"

"No. No way. I won't do that"

"Why not?" Now it was the clownish mans turn to be confused.

"Never mind"

"Aren't you tired of ripping of those insignificant mob dealers? What's the fun in killing small fish?" He asked frustrated

"I've only ever killed bad guys." She stated quietly, as if it justified killing at all.

"There are no good and bad guys, pet. I already told you that. And don't you think the bat is one of those who deserve to get their skull smashed in?"

"He is helping this city. I won't destroy the only thing that seems to be able to make Gotham a better place" She said it softly, with sadness dripping from her statement like rain from the sky.

"Sorry to say it, but you aren't exactly a positive factor of the universe yourself"

"You know how I feel about that"

"And they call _me_ crazy!" He laughed bizarrely. Johnny had never met the guy, but now even he would swear to this guy's lack of mental stability.

"I won't fight him" She said strongly.

"You can't run now. He will find you, perhaps even before I do" That was unmistakably a treat, but she ignored it.

"The police doesn't have anything on me"

"The Bat clearly doesn't need evidence"

"Well, that's _my_ problem. You just have to do without me. Besides, you would undoubtedly work better solo"

"I won't let you go. You're just too much fun!" He chuckled darkly

"Find someone else to play with" she whispered, almost too low for Johnny to hear

"You can't run forever, Zoey!" The man yelled, just as Johnny heard a door shut with a loud thud, and then there was only that insane laugher left, spilling into the watery night of Gotham.

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**Author's Note**

Haha, fooled you! Thought it was Harley, right? Sorry! But perhaps we will meet our hot blonde in the next chapther?

Like? HATE? Rewiew please :D It makes my evil black heart a little less evil, and a little more ready to post the first real chapter... Bwahahah! xD


	2. Chapter One: All White

**Author's note**

Shame on you! Not a single comment? Well, I have to keep my readers well fed so here is the first chapter.. I got another ready, but I'll be damned if I post it without any reviews! Now you know it, so start **typing**! xD

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Chapter One

**All White**

As the days turned to months, he slowly saw that this "vacation" had turned out to be too long.

It wasn't that he didn't enjoy it.

No, no,_ NO ! _Not at _all! _

He found Arkham extremely amusing. To him, it was almost like taking a break from chaos, though not _really_. It was just that from the day he had "checked in"; he had found that there suddenly was order in his life. His days were on a tight schedule. He had a bed to sleep in, food on the table, and...

_lovely company..._

And it wasn't like he couldn't have fun in an insane asylum.

_Of course not! _

There was always someone.. _Interesting_, to talk with, and never anyone who gave him trouble. Apparently, even mad people could show respect, or perhaps it was just fear. He had noticed how even the most battered patients was avoiding his scars when they looked at him.

He laughed at that.

Of course he still got into fights; it was just at his own initiative. Actually, it was the day before's more violently clash with someone random freak in the cafeteria that had awoken him from his mental slumber.

One day he just woke up and found that he missed the dirt under his nails and the makeup on his face. He felt too clean, and he was getting sick of wearing white clothes, living in white rooms and sometimes even eating white food.

_What's even in this stuff?_

As he laid on his bed, thinking about everything that was wrong with his current home Arkham, eyeing the beautiful stains on the walls he had created the night before ( the guards still hadn't discovered it) a just as lovely memory appeared in his twisted mind.

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He remembered the night so long ago, where he had been standing on the top of one of the tall buildings in Gotham Centrum. He couldn't quite remember why he had gone up, and he didn't really do anything while he stood there. He just looked down at all the lights, smiling for himself as he thought of all the fun he was going to have. Then out of nowhere she had appeared, dressed in all black like a living, breathing shadow. He had smiled at her, and weirdly she hadn't seemed scared of him at all. She had even smiled back, which had made her whole pale face light up with life. He remembered how he had admired her oh so soft looking cheeks, and how his fingers had ached to cut them open, making her smile permanent. And then she had shot him. He couldn't quite remember that she had taken his picture afterwards, but then again; he had suddenly felt very cold and tired so he had lain down on the ground and closed his eyes. He only knew that she had taken a picture of him because she had shown it to him afterwards, when he had awoken in an old apartment in the same building. She later delivered the photo to the smaller mob member who had ordered his murder.

She had told The Joker that she wanted to join him. She was tired of the mob, and sick of poisoning Gotham by working for them. He chuckled darkly at the thought of the small amount of money she had been paid for the kill. It was nothing compared to the price on his head a couple of months later and he was almost certain that she wouldn't have thought twice about handing him over to Gambol for one million dollars.

* * *

But back then he had only robbed a couple of small banks, and were only known to the less important members of the crime families.

He still had the scar on his shoulder, from where she had stitched him back together while he was out. It was beautiful handcraft, he thought.

Right then the guards stormed into his cell. One of them couldn't hide the horrified look on his face. He was clearly a new guy. The Joker himself admired the red masterpiece he had covered his room with. It didn't really cover the horrible white, but still..

And they had to give him credit! He had done it with only a small piece of glass from a stolen makeup mirror, and he had had a hell of a problem getting the crazy chap into his cell. The poor guy from last night laid in the corner, smiling a stiff smile at the guards who was securing The Joker in a straitjacket. He was covered in deep cuts, from where The Joker had drawn his blood for his brilliant work of art.

"We have already called his therapist" the guard in charge said to the others "I was told to take him to the analysis cell.. He will be dealt with shortly"

The Joker screamed in laughter as they dragged him along.

The analysis cell was really just another ordinary cell, except that this room had a table and two chairs, instead of a bed. The Joker was placed in the chair against the padded wall, and the guards made sure he was properly secured before they left. He hummed loudly to himself, jumping slightly up and down in his seat. Soon his beat was broken by the noisy sounds of high heels on stone floor. The door opened, and he smiled charmingly up at his doctor. "What are you up to now, Mister J?" She asked smilingly, while loosening her ponytail and letting her blonde hair fall around her slim shoulders.

"I want out, puddin'" he answered solemnly. She giggled, and leaned over the table catching his dark eyes with her sparkling blue orbs. She blushed slightly as she purred "I'll see what I can do"

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**Author's Note.**

Aww… I don't really know if I should like Harley or just be jealous of her… Oh, well. Review, please!


	3. Chapter Two: Comfortably Numb

**Author's Note:**

I _really_ shouldn't be posting this (since I have not gotten a single review) but I just want to get this story up and running, and I think this will be the last "intro" chapter. From now on its Joker action all the way, baby! I just wanted to give you a picture of my OC's background...

Harley is at home doing her nails in this chapter, so to all of you Joker/HarleyQ addicts: Review and I will make sure she is ready to help her Mister J in the next chapter.. And be nice; this is my first fic EVER!

I'm done rambling now. **Enjoy!**

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**Comfortably Numb**

As they stood there at the altar, hand in hand, Zoey thought how she just a few months back never had pictured herself getting married. It just wasn't her. She had thought of it, as just another way of society tying you down, telling you what to do. Now she couldn't care less if it was.

She looked at Josh. He seemed happy now that she was there. She smiled at the thought of how difficult he had found it to keep the tradition of not seeing the bride before the wedding alive. And he was the one who had wanted a traditional wedding! (She briefly glanced down at the front row, where his parents sat. Well, Josh's mom had wanted a traditional wedding too...)

But all day, from when she awoke at her friend Lilly's apartment and found her lovely morning gift (a weirdly beautiful irregular silver medallion with a roughly engraved J, hanging on a thin black satin string. She couldn't open it, but knew deep down in her heart that he hadn't taken the trouble to fill the medallion with pictures) right up until he had entered the church, he had been on the phone with her. Even when she was having her curly red hair styled, or had been taking her wedding dress on (a terribly classical strapless dress with a corset and an all too heavy skirt) she had to have one of her bride mates hold her phone so she could calm him down. He was extremely nervous about it all. Would they be happy together? He of course hoped so.

Zoey didn't ponder on such things.

She had finally gotten an excuse to hang up on him, when his mother had suddenly entered the room. Zoey knew he didn't want his mother to know that they were talking before the wedding, and because it was their wedding day (wedding afternoon actually) she had played along, hiding the phone. Any other day she wouldn't have indulged in Josh's familiy's, especially his mother's, power games.

Josh's mother was a rather short, fat woman. Her grayish brown hair was always tied up in a tight knot, pulling her whole face back in a stiff expression. She had tiny gray eyes and small white lips Zoey never had seen curled up in a smile. In return his mother had a rather big nose. Zoey didn't really care for the elderly woman, mostly because Josh's mother didn't care for Zoey either.

The woman held her chin high, as she pulled an old looking paper box up from her small lady purse. It was bright pink. She gave it to Zoey.

"I'm afraid my dear Josh forgot to give you this, this morning. I hope you weren't too disappointed" Her voiced showed absolutely no regret for if that had been the case. Zoey pulled a rather fake smile, but didn't care if Josh's mother noticed her sarcastically gleaming eyes. "Why, thank you Helen!" She squealed happily "can I open it now?"

"I suppose" Josh's mother Helen answered. Zoey knew she hated it, when Zoey acted friendly towards her. That's the only reason why Zoey did it.

Zoey opened the box and found it was stuffed with white silk fabric. When she had pulled at it she discovered that it in fact was two pieces of material. A pair of long gloves. They reminded Zoey of something a porcelain doll would wear. Sugar sweet and fake as plastic flowers.

She found it strange to recieve another morning present, but she would never say that out loud.

Helen said they had been passed down to the women in Josh's family, but since Josh didn't have a sister, she had decided to give them to Zoey.

For a moment Zoey really had been was touched by the gesture, feeling all warm and fuzzy inside because of the meaningful gift. That was until she had looked up and seen Helens small hateful eyes looking at her, judging her. Zoey had realized that she owed Helen something now. She wasn't sure of what, but she had felt that, by wearing the gloves, she was wearing a part of her soon to be mother in law. She had felt a little sick, but smiled and played along "Wow" She gasped "I can't possibly accept this"

"You can, and you will" Helen had answered "we are after all going to be family now, and I want us to be friends. One day my granddaughter is going to wear these to her wedding!" She had motioned with her choppy fingers to the gloves in Zoey's hand. That had only made the sick feeling in Zoey's stomach worse.

"Well" Zoey had begun, trying to figure out some way she could avoid wearing the revolting gloves. But then Zoey brides mate Lydia had burst into the room "Zoey! It's now, honey!"

Zoey had rushed out; ignoring the horrid woman she soon would refer to as her mother in law, while dragging the thick gloves over her thin arms.

Zoey was happy that the gloves didn't itch, as she stood there in the church with her fiancé listening to the minister. Actually she didn't feel anything, not even the warmth from Josh's hands in hers or the heavy dress pulling her down, the corset leaving her breathless. She didn't listen to the words uttered by the priest, or the eyes focusing on her (it was a small wedding, but she still knew none of the guests) she briefly heard an echo in her head of the song C_omfortably Numb_ but didn't reflect in it, as she felt Josh hug her hands. She looked up. The minister gave her a searching look, and she spluttered "I do"

Quickly hereafter Josh placed a thin, white gold ring on her ring finger. She did the same for him, though his ring was larger and a bit thicker. She briefly thought about how she had missed the "speak now, or forever hold your breath" part, but decided it would just have made the wedding more unbearable. She felt Josh's thin lips on her mouth, and then the music began to play, and Josh led her down the small steps away from the altar. Zoey stopped dead in her track about a second before Josh did.

At the end of the isle, at the great wooden doors leading outside, stood The Joker. His hair was freshly dyed green; his makeup looked like it had just been applied. In his right hand there was a knife.

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**Author's Note:**

And that's it for tonight folks!

I have this little voice in my head who keeps telling me to write no matter what happens to this story, reviews or not.

I also have a bit louder voice who tells me it's important that I can read some kind of evaluation on this fic, so I can correct my mistakes and do it better in the next chapter.

And then there is this extremely loud ear-piercing voice who shouts _**"REVIEWS! I NEED 'EM!"**_

The last one is really starting to annoy me, so please post a comment :D It is beginning to affect my sleep.


	4. Chapter Three: Surprise!

**Author's Note:**

Yay! My first TWO reviews! You deserve a cookie! :D But since I can't bake, here is another chapter..

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_She felt Josh's thin lips on her mouth, and then the music began to play, and Josh led her down the small steps away from the altar. Zoey stopped dead in her track about a second before Josh did. At the end of the isle, at the great wooden doors leading outside, stood The Joker. His hair was freshly dyed green; his makeup looked like it had just been applied. In his right hand there was a knife._

**Surprise!**

"A _WHITE_ dress? Uh, really?"

She stared at The Joker disbelieving, as he slowly moved up the queue towards the altar. Beside some small nervous movements among the wedding guests there was completely silent in the church.

"Black suits you better, you know" he said teasingly, pointing the blade towards her. She shifted uncomfortably, and Josh hugged her hand tightly as if it was going to make her less scared. Even though she wasn't scared.

Not of him. Never.

"No no no no _NO_! White is just all, uh, _wrong._ It reminds me of the padded walls of Arkham" He was now standing right in front of them, completely ignoring Josh, staring at Zoey.

"Shall we see if it's just as soft?" he continued, and reached out for her. Something inside of her snapped.

"Get the fuck away from me, asshole!" she hissed, and stepped back. Josh stared at her in disbelief, but remained silent.

"Haven't you missed me?" The Joker asked in mock hurt.

"Not. One. Bit." Zoey answered darkly "now get the _hell_ out of the church. This is my _freaking wedding_!"

He threw his head back and laughed. That same insane cackle she remembered from such a long time ago.

"Getting married in church, eh? I never figured you for a ,uh, _religious_ type of gal! Or maybe it was dear Josh's idea?" He turned towards Josh who was still frozen in the exact same spot as before The Joker had crashed a close to "perfect" day. Josh made a weird low squeaking noise when The Joker laid his cold eyes on him. Zoey would have laughed if it wasn't her husband acting like a total coward in front of Gotham's most feared man. The Joker moved closer and closer to Josh. Much closer than he needed to, but he kept going until the tip of their noses where almost touching. Josh had begun to shake. The Joker didn't even smile, but just kept staring. Small pearls of sweat began to form on Josh's face and neck, and his skin had turned bright hot pink. He was probably burning up. The Joker made a low tsk-ing noise while he made a big point in playing with his knife out of Josh's stiff sight. As Josh was too scared to ask, so Zoey did it for him:

"What the friggin' hell are you doing Joker?"

He didn't answer, just kept toying with poor Josh. Out of the blue Josh got the strength to utter words.

"Please. _Please_ don't kill me. Please" he stuttered. Zoey could have rolled her eyes in disgust.

Even then The Joker didn't laugh. It was very out of character for him. Zoey could easily see that The Joker was up to something.

"_Actually_" The Joker cleared his throat "I was going to ask you a favor. One man to another" He motioned between him and Josh with the knife, but for a moment found time to glance teasingly at Zoey who glared back angrily.

"Since you are going to be kind of occupied for a _veeeery_ long time into the future, I was thinking of borrowing your blushing bride over there. It's not like you're gonna, uh, _need_ her"

"What?" Zoey yelled "no way!" and then in a lower, wondering voice" And what do you mean by occupied?" As soon as the question left her mouth Zoey knew she should have kept quiet.

Just then The Joker laughed. High pitched and as insane as ever. Then, as fast as a snake he drew a gun from his purple jacket and shot Josh in the stomach. Josh shrieked and fell to the ground, his black tuxedo turning dark red around the ragged hole in its lover middle. "_Bastard_!" Zoey screamed as she rushed over, trying to strike The Joker with her small fist. His knife ripped through the thick air, as Zoey moved back from him just inches away from having slashed her throat. The Joker giggled as she fell back over her dying husband and landed in the stone floor beside him. She ignored the insane clown, as she reached for Josh and tried to find his pulse. It was there, but it was faint.

"Josh.. "She whispered, scared to discover that she wasn't completely heartbroken. She knew she should be disgusted by herself.

She fumbled with the buttons on Josh's shirt, all the while trying to keep him awake by whispering calming words to him. The Joker kept quiet, soon Josh did the same. Zoey didn't even realize, because she was so focused on stopping the bleeding with his shredded shirt. After a minute, while she still reassured him everything was going to be fine, she looked at his face and turned still. The Joker noted innocently "he's not much fun now, is he?"

"You seem to be having a great time" Zoey spat at him, her voice dripping with poison. She kept pressing on the wound, even though it seemed to have stopped bleeding.

"Well, that's because of _you_!" he smiled "now what do you say? Let's get out of this church, shall we? The, uh, romantic mood is kinda ruined now" there was no regret in his voice.

"I have to call an ambulance" she mumbled, ignoring The Jokers attempt to make her attack him again. He sighed "sure, why not?" her head snapped back up at him, as he drew a cell from one of his many pockets. He dialed a three digit number. Surely he wasn't calling 911?

"Yeah, hi!" he said cheerfully "Joker here… No, _seriously_… I kinda shot this guy, and now his wife is giving me a hard time… Can you pick him up?.. That's _great_!.." he gave the operator the address, and said goodbye. "_Now_, will you come?" he asked irritated.

Zoey looked sadly down at Josh. "Why?" she asked.

"Business" He smiled

"What kind of business?"

"_My_ kind of business of course!" he answered annoyed.

"I don't do that" Zoey whispered, and for the first time looked around at the guests. most of them had somehow sneaked away, and the few people left seemed too shocked to pay attention.

"Listen, we can talk about all this when we have, uh, _privacy_. Right now you only have to choose between walking out of here or being dragged"

Slowly Zoey rose from the ground, and stood tall in front of him. "I would rather walk, thank you. But don't expect me to help you with _anything_" He ignored her statement, and instead commented on her now blood stained dress "oh, look! We got your dress is all dirty. Told you white was a bad idea"

"Oh, _shut up_"

He grasped her arm rather hard, and held her face close to his painted one "you are in no position to make demands, _puddin_'" he whispered, and with that he started walking down the aisle dragging her along with him.

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**Author's Note:**

Oh, I'm so _happy!_ :D I already got another two chapters written down, but I need some persuasion before I post them… I hope you all like my story! Review, review, review, pretty please!


	5. Chapter Four: Let's Fix That!

**Author's Note:**

Okay, I am _really_ heartbroken right now! Only ONE person has bothered reviewing me… Thank you **so** much **TheBlackAndWhiteCat**! You have saved more than one of my days! :D I hope you enjoy this chapter xD

To **all** of my readers: Hope you enjoy too! **Leave a comment**! :D

* * *

_He grasped her arm rather hard, and held her close to him "you are in no position to make demands, puddin'" with that he started walking down the aisle._

**Let's fix that!**

The Joker was walking very fast, and Zoey tripped in the giant skirt of her wedding dress several times. It was Josh's idea to have it that big. The Joker simply rolled his eyes and helped her stand every time she tripped, which she naturally found extremely embarrassing. And she knew he was aware that.

They quickly left the church, and he dragged her along the small parking lot, all the while humming "here comes the bride" They walked past Josh's parent's car, and it made her shiver a bit. When the elderly couple had parked that car earlier that afternoon their son had been alive and well. They had probably been talking about how beautiful a day it was, how they wished for grand kids or something ordinary like that. Now all that seemed distant. When they drove away in that car later that day they would be blinded by grief. Well, they _probably_ would. It wasn't even certain that Josh was dead, she thought hopefully, then sighed.

"You can't start crying now" The Joker grumbled "You should have done that when I shot the, uh, _apparently_ love of your life" Zoey didn't justify that with an answer. In the back of the parking lot there was a once white van. Now it was a battered, rusty, dirty, old van. Typically him, Zoey thought.

The Joker opened the door to the back and threw Zoey in. She didn't have time to react to the sudden brutality, so she landed face down on the van's dirty flooring. The Joker laughed behind her, as he closed the door again. The surface of the floor was sticky and also kind of rusty, and when Zoey lifted herself up, she noticed how filthy her dress already was. Stained black, brown and even green with heavens know what was on the floor of The Joker's van, and red from Josh's blood. If she knew The Joker like she thought she did, it would look a lot worse when he was finished with her.

She tried to stand, but once again her dress made it difficult. Her corset was too tight, and the big skirt made her feel like she was walking in water. As soon as she was standing once again, trying to kill The Joker with her icy blue eyes, the van started moving and she fell for a second time. Zoey hadn't considered the car moving, because she hadn't noticed any of his clown thugs on the front seat. But then again; she hadn't looked for them. She lost her air, as she landed on the ground again, and was just happy that she only fell on her rear this time. The Joker giggled delighted.

"Clumsy girl" he laughed. "Need a hand?" He reached a purple hand down at her.

"it wasn't my fault.." Zoey muttered as she grasped it, for the first time happy for the long, hideous gloves Josh's mom had made her wear. She felt needed the thickest possible layer between her and The Jokers skin. The Joker pulled her up fast, but stopped for no reason half way up, so Zoey dangled over the floor only held up by him. Once again she realized she should have known better than to play into The Jokers hands. He smiled deviously as he pinched her between her middle and ring finger, and pulled her glove off. For the third time Zoey fell to the floor, this time with an angry growl. "Stop playing around, Joker!" she yelled. He just snickered "That's the most unpractical dress I've ever seen!"

"It's a wedding dress. I wasn't expecting to get thrown around today"

"Then you have married a boring man, pet'"

"May I _please_ get up?" Zoey hissed

"Not before we have made your, uh, outfit a tad easier to move in" He pulled his knife out.

"What do you mean by that?" Zoey asked a little troubled, eyeing the knife.

"Just, you know, taking a couple of kilos of that giant skirt"

"You are not coming closer with that knife" Zoey whispered, trying to crawl backwards away from him.

He almost had a puzzled look on his scarred features, as he stared down at her "scared I might, uh, _cut_ you?" He licked his lip and stared daringly into her eyes.

"The thought have crossed my mind" she answered coldly.

"Well, I won't carry you around all day" He crossed his arms over his chest like a stubborn child. A stubborn child with a five and a half inch knife.

Zoey couldn't help but wonder where they were driving to. When The Joker had said the thing about business her mind had immediately been set on bank robbery. She had heard of some of the crazy bank jobs he had pulled off after she had left, before he was sent to Arkham, and she knew she wouldn't be able to run from the police, yet alone fight off mob members in that nightmare of a gown.

"Don't you have a scissor or something?" She asked, motioning to his jacket. He laughed yet again. Then suddenly his face expression turned somber.

"You know, I _miiight_ just have one" he started going through his jacket pockets, then his pants', but he stopped and placed his palm on the left pocket of his vest. He smiled.

"Found it!" he laughed, and pulled a small children scissor out.

"Scared of this?" he asked mockingly at he waved it in front of her pale face.

"No?" Zoey answered sneering

"Then let's fix that dress!" he stated happily, and began moving for her again

Zoey laughed confused "what? You can't be serious"

"What?" The Joker stopped, and stared down at her

"It's a children scissor" Zoey stated

"Yes" The Joker answered solemnly

"The dress is made of a _very_ thick fabric" She felt like she was talking to a child.

"I can see that" he answered once again.

"And you expect to cut it with something that looks like it would have trouble cutting paper?"

"I do!" The Joker exclaimed

Zoe rolled her eyes and sighed "you must be joking"

In a flash of purple The Joker was over her, stepping on the corner of her skirt as he glared down at the now not so blushing bride.

"Do I look like I'm joking?" he asked slowly, teasingly. Then he grabbed the outer lair of her skirt and sliced trough it easily.

Zoey lost her air as she realized how dangerous that innocent looking scissor was. He had obviously had it sharpened, just as sharp as his real knifes. He was still standing above her, bending slightly over her still form as he worked his way through the white layers, fabric flying around in the heavy air. "I asked you a question" The Joker stated, not looking up from his gloved hands working the bizarre tool. Zoey was still thunderstruck, her blue eyes just as focused on the deadly scissor. "no." she studded dazed "no, you are not joking. This isn't funny"

He chuckled softly, still not looking at her. As he moved closer to her legs, Zoey closed her eyes. She decided it was for the best, since she couldn't make him stop, and didn't earn anything by looking at his weird project. Except tattered nerves.

With her eyes now closed the noticed the smell of the van. Metallic. Old. And just a hint of dried blood. She could hear him hum, but couldn't place the tune. It wasn't "here comes the bride" anymore. Something with a faster beat. Suddenly she felt the chilly latex of his glove on her knee. She jumped with a shriek, and shot her eyes open. He had cut the lower parts of her dress' layers off, so the skirt reached just above her knees. Except some of the outer layers was cut way higher making the skirt thinner, and that the backside of her dress seemed longer end fuller. Perhaps he has had trouble reaching it. Perhaps he had found it more fitting, in his rat maze of a mind. She vaguely noticed that many of the stains hadn't been cut away but could still be seen. Josh's blood had turned a bit brownish, though there were also shiny red colors in the mix. Unexpectedly Zoey really didn't care about the mutilated wedding dress, because her mind was focused on the large bleeding slash just above her knee.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

I know it's not the most interesting chapter... But I really want to make my OC Zoey mentally and physically trashed, so our lovely clown can screw with her mind… Harley will join us in the next chapter if thing go accordingly to plan. I hope so :) Review, people!


	6. Chapter Five: Dizzy

**Author's Note:**

I turned a little... emo... today. Totally emo, actually.

But luckily, once I discovered I've got a whole trunk full of homework I went from emo to _completely_ depressed. And for once I got other plans for the weekend besides getting drunk. _Lovely_!

But then I thought; maybe I can make someone else's day a little bit brighter by posting a new chapter? Yeah, I believe in karma! :D And if you've had a crappy day too, how about making _ME_ happy by reviewing this story? What you give is what you get. _Enjoy!_

* * *

_Zoey really didn't care about the mutilated wedding dress, because her mind was focused on the large bleeding slash just above her knee._

**Dizzy**

"What the..?" Zoey began, but paused. The scissor had apparently been so sharp that she didn't feel it when it slashed trough her soft skin. Now she sensed it. She hissed, as she felt small burning needles stabbing inside her injured leg, all the while the shock made her shake so violently that she couldn't press down on the wound to stop the bleeding. She yelped as purple hands did what hers couldn't, squeezing the bleeding wound shot. She flinched and almost kicked him in the guts, but he held her surprisingly still.

She began to feel dizzy, and let herself lay down on the floor. Her breathing was ragged, and her eyesight started to blacken. "Hey" The Joker said, but she didn't react. The blood was pounding in her ears. "Hey!" He shouted and pressed harder on her wound, making her whimper. She focused her eyes on him. "Breathe" he ordered. It was incredible how someone who made such a big point in being an anarchist could act like such an authority figure. "I am!" Zoey choked out, her eyes moving from his painted face to the large cut on her leg covered by his hands. "Slowly" He commanded, pressing down once again on the wound. Zoey eyes filled with tears, but she followed his orders and slowed her breathing. She covered her face with her hands (now only wearing one of the old gloves) as she once again let herself fall back, resting on the floor.

The Joker giggled. "Idiot" she mumbled. After a few minutes of silence The Joker moved one of his hands. She heard him fumble with his jacket. Then he wrapped some rough cloth around the cut. The pain had already started to lessen, though not nearly enough. When he was done he let her go, and stood up. She continued to lie on the floor, cursing under her breath.

"Earth to Zoey" He said "Open your eyes"

"Not going to happen," She mumbled and added "jackass"

"Be niiiice!" He whined sarcastically "Aren't you happy with your new dress?"

She raised herself from the floor, sitting with her legs stretched out in from of her. "You cut my leg in half, you moron!"

He laughed "exaggerating just a little, _puddin'_?"

"Don't call me that! I'm angry! And it's a ridiculous pet name!" Zoey yelled.

He shrugged, and sat down beside her. They sat in silence for quite some time. The car had stopped turning all the time, and now they just seemed to drive in one direction. They must have driven out of the city.

How long time had they been driving? Zoey pondered. Where were they going?

"Are you _done_?" The Joker asked after awhile. She didn't look at him, but instead kept eyeing the binding. "With what?" She asked in a low voice.

"Uh, sulking"

"You cut me!" She hissed once again, though not as loud as before.

"I know" He stated.

"You.. You-you..!" Zoey began, but couldn't quite figure out what to say. Instead she pushed him in the chest, so he moved back a little. He snickered "It was an accident" then noted "you're no good to me if you can't walk" That was probably the closest thing to an excuse she would ever get from him.

"Huh" Zoey muttered. How could she know it hadn't been an accident? Her eyes had been closed.. Once again they sat in silence.

Zoey remembered the thing he had said in the church. Something about business. "What do you need me for?" she asked slowly, afraid of the answer. Once she would probably be excited about it. Once, she would have had trouble waiting for the answer like a kid a Christmas. But then again; once she wouldn't almost have fainted because of a little cut on her leg. He stirred her hair up "It's a surprise!" he hushed "Wait till' we get home!"

"Home?" Zoey asked. He looked at her funny, like she was the weird one. "yeaah.." He said slowly "You know; that place where I _live_"

"I didn't know you had a home" She pondered.

"Well, it's not really a home yet.. Still need some work, but then again..." He seemed to be swallowed by thought "I only got out of Arkham last week"

"You have been on the loose for a whole week?"

He seemed serious "Maybe more.. I can't really remember what day it was"

"Why isn't this all over the news?" Zoey was choked. The worst terrorist in all of Gotham's history was at large, but nobody knew.

"Yeah. Apparently _they_" He waved his hands away from them, backwards "Don't want the citizens to panic" He smiled, shoving his yellow teeth. That made sense. Kind of.

"Do you think I need stitches?" She asked, deciding to drop the subject. "I _know_ you need stitches" he answered

"Perfect" she mumbled.

"You'll most likely get a scar" he declared, licking his painted lips.

She looked at him with tired eyes, for a moment studying his runny makeup, with his big black orbs staring expressionlessly at her, and his horrible scars in the corners of his mouth. Then she thought of what she was looking like. She could feel her red hair was a total mess, half of it still tied in a loose knot, the other half hanging loosely around her shoulders. Looking down at herself she saw her tattered dress, stained with blood, among other things. She was missing one glove, her mascara was probably running, and she had a hurting cut on her knee. She looked into his dark eyes again, sighing

"I don't care" she said truthfully. For some reason that made him laugh.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

I _know_ Harley was missing from this chapter, but she will turn up eventually! Believe me.

_Review, people!_


	7. Chapter Six: Coward

**Author's Note:**

Damn. I'm sick.

I had to go home early from school this Friday, and I'm still feeling kinda dizzy so if this chapter really sucks just let me know. Then I'll don't post when I'm ill.

Thank you so much for the reviews! I literally danced when You're Just A Freak complimented me, and I didn't need painkillers for half a day thanks to Devoted2You. TheBlackAndWhiteCat is really nice.

I think it's absolutely the greatest pad on the back to get to know you write Joker well! That's probably what I was most afraid of I wouldn't be able to do.

By the way; I spy with my little eye: a blonde, whose name begins with an H...

* * *

**Coward**

The van turned in on a bumpy dirt road.

"Wow.. We are really far away" Zoey mumbled. She hadn't been away from the city's pavement for a long time.

"Uh, no." The Joker answered "We are right _here!_" He threw his arms out, almost hitting her.

"Hey!" Zoey shouted. He ignored her.

The van stopped. The Joker jumped on his feet, rushing to the door. He opened it, and was on his way out when he stopped and looked at Zoey.

"Are you coming?" he asked annoyed.

Zoey looked sadly at her knee almost to apology, before she tried to stand. The pain ripped through her, making her stiffen for a second, but I wasn't as bad as she had expected. She slowly made her way out of the car on her own. A little voice inside of her head wondered why she went with him almost freely. But she really didn't have a choice, did she?

The sun was setting, bathing the surroundings in a warm orange glow. The Jokers alleged home was built on a low hill surrounded by fields. From where Zoey stood she could only see two other houses far away, both farms. She had never been on a farm in her entire life, but somehow they seemed familiar.

The house on the hill looked like it couldn't decide whether it should be a haunted house or simply a ruin. The walls appeared like they could collapse at any time, the roof was filled with holes and many of the windows were shattered. It was three stories high, and seemed like it could have been a really classy residence once upon a time. Zoey actually knew that it had been beautiful once, because she had been there before. "This is my house!" she exclaimed bewildered. "Nope. It _was_ your house" The Joker corrected her.

"I thought it had been demolished.." She mumbled, gazing over the high walls admiring the remarkable architecture.

"Well, as you can see… "The Joker began, but apparently didn't find it important to finish the sentence. Instead he grasped Zoey by her elbow and started dragging her along the road up to the house.

"I _can_ walk!" she noted, but he didn't let go of her.

Once this had been her place. Back when she was hired by the mob. She had only used a couple of the rooms, but she had nevertheless liked it. Even though The Joker now said it was his home, she was still glad it existed.

"This sure brings back memories.." The Joker noted quietly as they strolled up the road.

Zoey ignored the comment "So you live here now?"

"Indeed I do. Me and some, uh, _others_" He answered.

Zoey noted how he seemed a little… uncomfortable? When me mentioned the others (whoever they where) but Zoey knew not to ask about it. Instead she asked "can you please tell me what I am doing here? What do you need me for?"

"Have you ever missed your home here, beautiful?" he asked in a low voice, not looking at her. "Well" Zoey began but stopped to think. "Why do you ask?" She questioned suspiciously. He didn't even bothered to glance at her, just kept walking. Just when Zoey had given up on ever getting an answer he chucked "Just making, uh, small talk. Never mind" he licked his lips.

"I left for a reason, you know" Zoey said, keeping her guards up.

"I knooooow," The Joker drew out. He seemed to understand, in his own quirky way, Zoey thought satisfied just before he added "coward"

"I'm not a coward!" She said surprised. Actually, she was closer to shouting it. He shrugged. They had reached the old wooden double doors. Even though they where closed, they looked like they could easily break if you'd just push at them. But The Joker actually bothered pulling out a keychain filled with keys. Even though he knew exactly what key fit the lock, it still took a couple of extra seconds because he had to shake the chain giggling at the ringing sound it made. When he opened the doors he had to use both hands. Zoey couldn't believe those moldy doors could be that heavy until she saw the underline titanium door, which most of all looked like the doors of a safety box. The wooden doors apparently only acted as camouflage for prying eyes. She had to admit it was pretty clever.

"Welcome to _my _humble home" he declared, quoting her from when _he_ had first entered the house.

* * *

"_Welcome to my humble home" _she had mumbled

"_You ,uh, live here?"_

"_Well, I sleep here"_

"_I _like_ it!" _He had exclaimed

* * *

She ignored him.

They had entered the quite impressing hall. On the inside, the house didn't appear _that_ aged. Though the colorful wallpaper was a little faded and torn in more than a few places and the wooden floor was stained, the house still seemed cozy. The dark staircase filled half of the hall, leading up to the second floor. The left wall had a grand opening into a room Zoey knew once had been a dining room. Now it was filled with sofas, thick carpets, sleeping bags and even a couple of pillows. It looked like there had been a giant sleepover which had lasted weeks.

"Guess I don't need to show you 'round" The Joker mumbled with a smile on his face, grabbing her arm once again and pulling her towards the stairs. Just then the heavy doors closing mechanism started, slamming shut so loud Zoey could have swear it made the whole house quiver.

"Who's there?" A woman's voiced yelled from behind one of the doors in the old dining room. The Joker flinched, his shoulders for a second reaching his ears, before he relaxed and roared "It's me! But don't…" He didn't get to finish, because the woman (the very young, beautiful woman) was already on her way over to them.

She had pulled the door to the kitchen open, and was running as fast as her legs could bare towards The Joker. Her blonde hair was moist, and she was only wearing a pink morning robe. "Puddin'!" She squealed as she jumped over a couch with such a gracefulness it made Zoey jealous. Her bare feet barely touched the floor before she jumped into The Jokers arms. He caught her easily, and awkwardly hugged her back when she threw her arms around his neck

"I've missed you Mistah J!" The girl murmured in the thickest sugar coated voice Zoey had ever heard. "I've only been gone for a couple of hours, Harley" The Joker said seriously, like a father talking to his child. "Actually, you've been away for over _six and a half hours_, J!" she corrected him.

He let her go, and she fell rather clumsily to the floor.

First then, she laid her blue eyes on Zoey "Who is _she_?" the girl, who apparently was named Harley, asked. Her perfect little nose wrinkled softly, and her picked eyebrows slightly furrowed. She would have looked charmingly confused, if her pretty eyes hadn't been burning with hate and insanity. "Who do you _think?_" The Joker asked blankly. Harley laughed even more high-pitched than The Joker

"She's the mob's famous assassin? The one Tha Bat never caught?" She snorted, but even that she managed to do with terrific grace. The Joker turned to Zoey "You're gonna put up with that?" he asked her, almost fascinated.

"I guess I have to" Zoey answered, trying to keep her face expression blank. But somewhere inside of her she really wanted to slap the blonde woman. The Joker must have seen right through her, because he swiftly handed her a gun. "Not _necessarily_" he said quietly. Zoey looked at the gun in his hand. She reached out for it, but stopped when she heard Harleys whining voice from behind The Joker. "Mistah J? You don't mean that, do you?"

The Jokers cruelly painted face was twisted in one of his nasty smiles. Zoey could tell he was having great fun. He didn't answer Harley, but just kept staring at Zoey. Was it a trick? It had to be. But that gun sure looked tempting. It wasn't like Zoey really wanted to shoot Harley, but it would be fun to make her think so. It would be fun to scare her, just a tiny bit, because of that rude comment. But what would that make her?

Zoey drew her hand back, looking innocently at The Joker. "Did you forget? I'm a coward, right?" she asked, trying not to sound too cheeky. She had expected a rude comment from one of them. Perhaps both. But Harley kept quiet, and The Joker simply said "u-huh" as he stuffed the gun back in his right coat pocket. He seemed swallowed by thought as he forcefully lifted Harley up from the floor and gave her a quick peck on the cheek, (Zoey nearly got sick by the exaggerated sugary moan Harley uttered) before he once again grasped Zoey by her elbow, which she realized had started to ache because of the rough treatment, and pulled her up the stairs.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Aaaaaand, that's it for today folks! 7 reviews, 7 chapters. (_Okay_; 6 chapters and a prolog, but still…) Remember when I talked about karma? Well, now I'll probably get better _real_ soon :D _Thanks! _


	8. Chapter Seven: El Sueño

**Author's Note:**

Sorry!

I haven't updated in a hundred years! But in my defense; I've been sleeping.

That whole "being sick for a couple of days" thing? It lasted two bloody weeks! I thought I was going crazy.. But here I am, sane as ever! I hope you enjoy the chapter, and thank you for all the lovely reviews!

* * *

**El Sueño**

Halfway up the stairs Zoey collapsed. It almost frightened her how easily he caught her. His gloved hand went remarkably fast from grasping her elbow, to clutch at her slim waist. First Zoey didn't understand why her leg suddenly couldn't support her. After all that nonsense about shooting Harley, she had barely felt that stinging sensation where The Joker had sliced her skin with his scissor.

"Don't look" The Joker murmured close to her ear (sounding more than fairly amused by whatever she hadn't noticed yet) at the exact same time Zoey saw it. The binding was soaked in blood; she even managed to get a glimpse of a couple of ruby red drops on the dark wooden step before her sight yet again began to blur. She barely felt it when he picked her up bridal style and carried her further up the staircase.

Zoey was convinced she heard Harley's girly laugh in the background, and couldn't really blame the girl for finding it funny. Zoey's last cohesive thought before she slipped into total darkness was that this, after all, was how she had pictured the end of her wedding day. Being carried _home_ in the arms of.. Well; that was the funny part. Instead of Josh it was Josh's murderer who, dressed as a mad clown, carried her to bed. At least Zoey knew she would be spending the night alone. There were after all things even The Joker wouldn't do.

She was certain of that.

* * *

At first she didn't realize that she had awoken. Something told her that she was still dreaming. When she had left her life in the criminal underworld of Gotham she had experienced repeating incidences with _very_ realistic nightmares she had found trouble waking up from. Normally Zoey could easily open her eyes when her dreams turned nasty, but in those she had felt like she was being held down, and had to stay asleep to the end of the ride.

And it was always that same bloody nightmare.

In the dream she had just finished a job. And not one of the mobs jobs. No; she had actually felt content with ridding the world of that scum she had just shot. She always felt nauseous, almost dirty, when she had finished off one of the mobs small foes.

But ever since she had started working for The Joker (well, more like_ with_ The Joker since they were planning so many the bank jobs together, and ever since he had let her somewhat in on his plans) she hadn't felt bad about killing the people they agreed on. After all; she did it quick, clean, and the bastards deserved it. She was not helping the mob turning Gotham into a pigsty; she was riding the town of some really bad seeds who would _never_ get what they deserved if it wasn't for her.

Any way; in her nightmare she was always on a rooftop much like the one where she had been told The Joker was, the night she had shot him in the shoulder, pretentiously "killing" him.

Everything always seemed so real. She could smell the gunpowder, feel the ache from the rifles kick in her shoulder, even taste the Indian restaurant below's spicy whiff on her tongue, carried up to her by the cool nighttime wind.

And she could see all the details in the tiny room, dimly lit, in the building across from the roof. A faceless guy lay dead on the floor, his hand still on the remote control.

She always smiled in the nightmare as she picked up her stuff and headed for the stairs. Just then a shadow landed on the roof. It had black wings, and glowingly yellow eyes.

She stopped dead in her tracks, staring stiffly at the monster before her. A giant bat, standing on two legs. Its skin was like thick black leather stretched tightly across uneven flesh. Its mouth was full of long, dirty teeth. Some of them still wet with blood.

It pointed one of its crooked fingers towards her, one yellow nail aiming at her face accusingly. It growled, as if it recognized her.

Zoey did the only thing that seemed reasonable doing in a nightmare she couldn't wake from. She ran.

Weirdly enough she didn't run on the roof. Instead she started running through rooms. Rooms she knew.

She ran through her teenage bedroom, in her parents' old apartment, where she had her first thoughts of something being wrong in Gotham.

She ran through the dirty, old apartment where she had received her first job from a sweaty, fat man with a bad comb over, who wanted his former business partner and best friend to disappear.

And she ran through the attic rooms of the old house on the hill. It was there she had found a sanctuary once again, after she had moved away from her parents' apartment. She had inherited the house from her granddad who had lived to be almost a hundred. He had been a rich bastard, who had owned quite a few old buildings he had never even bothered renting out. But he _had_ bothered leaving Zoey the house, because he hadn't been such a big idiot that he hadn't noticed her living situation. She had always had trouble finding roof over her head, ever since she had left her parents' apartment.

Because of Zoey's choice of living, she never found time to repair the old house, so she kept to herself on the third floor, living in the two big attic rooms. She only moved around in the other parts of the house when she entered and left, and when she used the big bathroom on the second floor.

In the dream, she always felt the most scared when she ran through the attic rooms, because that was normally where she felt the safest. And now that peace was being desecrated by the giant bat right behind her.

She always ended up in Josh's apartment where she had moved in shortly after leaving her life of crime. It was light, comfy and boring. In the nightmare, he was always there; looking at an old newspaper in his hand. The headline read in big black letters

**"FERNADO SALVADOR FOUND DEAD"**

The Joker had told her, that Salvador was the only one who knew the code to a safety deposit box they were going to bust. She had gotten the code out of him in a couple of minutes.

Or **"NEW INFORMATIONS IN MOB RAPE CASE"**

Zoey had by accident found out which of The Russians men who had raped an innocent girl after a party. She had tracked him down, and gotten him to confess on tape before she had slashed his throat ever so slowly. She had sent the tape to the police.

Or **"ANOTHER BANK ROBBED BY MYSTERIOUS CLOWN"**

She had been a part of that bank job too, but of course The Joker was the only one the people in the back could remember afterwards. No one had noted the woman dressed in black, right behind him.

Even though the headlines changed from dream to dream, Josh's expression when he looked up at her was always the same. Somehow; he knew that it was her. That she wasn't she plain country girl he thought he had fallen in love with. She was a cold blooded killer that somehow had gotten cold feet and left the crime business. She had left the crazy clown who terrorized Gotham to himself.

Just then the bat always caught up on her, and sunk its long yellow teeth into her neck.

* * *

Zoey felt like she was once again having one of those nightmares. She was lying on what seemed to be the same red couch she had left in the attic room of the house she had run away from such a long time ago. When she looked around in the room, it looked like she had only taken a trip to the city to buy a pizza. There was the same green rug, the same music posters hanging in the same positions on the walls. Her books was still standing neatly on their place on the bookshelf, and the room even smelled of that same Indian incense she had used to calm down with when she had lived there.

It had to be a dream. She knew that she had left her things in an open house. They were probably stolen, or had rotten away.

When she arose from the couch to have a better look around, (she didn't feel any real pain in her leg, but she still didn't dare to look at it) she saw that her working table had changed. It still stood in the right side of the room, but there didn't lie the same things, as when she had left. It was filled with new pictures, plans, maps and pencils lying in a total mess. Someone had kept using it, planning new things on it. She searched the papers trough with her icy blue eyes until she found what she was looking for. A copy of Josh's family's preferred priest's personal schedule. There stood the exact times for when he was going to burry, baptize and marry people. Someone had drawn a red circle around an afternoon event.

Zoey and Josh's wedding.

"You know; it isn't considered _nice_ to snoop around in other peoples stuff." A dark voice mumbled close to her ear.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Next chapter will have a lot more Joker and Harley in it, but I really felt like writing something about Zoey's background. By the way; El Sueño means sleep.. I don't speak Spanish; I just listen to a lot of Mew. In their song _Sometimes Life Isn't Easy_ they start out singing "_No, don't cry for me. Celebrate El Sueño" _So I just had to Google it and find out what it meant.

I'm not going to school for the next week, so there will probably be more than a few updates :D

Hang in there! Hope you review!


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